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current mood: The current mood of lostintranslation at www.imood.com

Happiness is all the rage.

May 22, 2002 - 12:34 PM

    So this is the end of the past, the first sign of first light, it's alright between us. I got my body and my mind on the same page and now happiness is all the rage.

    --The Promise Ring

    Things are going pretty good. As it turns out, today is my parents anniversary. I didn't completely blow them off on Monday like I previously thought. I still need to run to Hallmark for a card. I also have to make the trek to school to return my library books. I have a backpack full of Freud that needs to go.

    This morning I went to my youngest sister's awards day at school. It's funny how easy it is to forget grudges amongst family members. In fact, I've found that I don't hold many grudges at all anymore. I certainly did when I was younger. Anyway, I was ready to kill my sister last night. She is such a brat. For some reason, I just couldn't take it. I began screaming at her, calling her selfish and snotty. Which she is. Then again, she's eleven years old. I believe it's Erikson who says that children are completely egocentric until they are between the ages of seven and eleven. I think my sister is stuck in this stage for the time being. Last night she told her friend that she could go spend the night at the girl's house. Of course, *I* had to drive her there. I also had to buy her dinner on the way there because she was pounding on the wall, yelling "I'm hungry!" over and over again. Reason #634 why I'm never having children.

    Monday night was great though. I managed to change clothes and touch up my make-up a little bit before picking Lisa up and meeting her friends. The guy she knows is twenty-one and works at their college TV station. His friend is twenty and goes to the same college as my cousin Petunia. Naturally, they have great taste in music because we were all going to see Goldfinger at the House of Blues. They love MxPx and The Ataris and a bunch of other punk bands. Not only do they have great taste in music, they're also funny and good conversationalists. After the concert, we spent four hours sitting around the twenty-one year old's kitchen table talking about things. We talked about everything from how The Ataris are going to be the next Blink 182 to how their friend from high school commited suicide during their freshman year of college. They were very open with their ideas and feelings. They listened. They're attractive. So, of course, you know what this means:

    They have girlfriends.

    Why must I finally find some great guys only to discover that they're taken? Why? It is simply not fair. They're just the kinds of guys that I wanted. They're a little older so they have that extra layer of maturity that eighteen year-old boys don't quite have. They love punk rock concerts. They are funny and engaging. What more could I ask for? Besides the lack of girlfriends, nothing. At least they have given me reason to believe that there are people out there who I could be happy with. I just haven't found them yet.

    I had a long talk with my mom last night. We actually talked from midnight to 3:30. I started feeling really good about myself while we spoke. It used to be that conversations with my mom turned to tears and self-loathing. She is under the impression that I've grown and improved myself over the past year. I feel like I've grown over the past weeks, but maybe it has been a longer process than I've realized. At any rate, I feel pretty strong and intelligent. I'm getting the best grades that I've ever gotten before. My GPA is at about a 3.9 because I got straight As with the exception of one B+ this semester in Psychobiology class. I've been able to give my friends some solid adivice. I've been able to change some of my own attitudes. I feel better right now than I have felt in a long time.

    Entertainment Weekly's Shaw Report says that self-loathing and cynicism are 5-minutes ago. Inner peace is what's in. I find it very funny that people's outlooks on life can be subjected to a coolness rating scale. I also realized that I'm actually following the trend. Sure, I've still got a good deal of cynicism in me. Absolutely I do, but little by little, something is chipping away at it. If I didn't know better, I might just say I'm on the path to inner peace.

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