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current mood: The current mood of lostintranslation at www.imood.com

La-di-da

April 11, 2002 - 11:24 PM

    I've been messing around wth my new HTML editor, trying to find a better design for this diary. I realized that I'm really indecisive and analytical when it comes to web design. It's pretty annoying.

    What's also annoying is the fact that my best friend is being a flake. Well, maybe not a complete flake. Lisa called yesterday and asked if I was still interested in taking a Statistics course over the summer. I told her I wasn't sure. My advisor wasn't that enthused about the idea. Lisa responded with, "Oh. Then maybe I won't come home this summer after all." I half-jokingly screamed, "You little bitch!" (I occasionally enjoy melodrama.) She explained that her reasons for coming home were to teach gymnastics and go to Statistics. She found out that she couldn't get the gymnastics gig, and I was uncertain about the class. Therefore, she thought maybe she should just stay at college and take summer classes there. I argued that no one would be there all summer. She agreed, but did not seem concerned. She insisted that she simply does not want to live with her family. I'm just irritated that I'm being ditched.

    I haven't given the summer too much thought. It only makes me depressed. It makes me feel like a failure. A year has gone by and what do I have to show for it? Nothing. My first year of college has been a non-event. I should have gone away to school. Surely this would have created more drama! I would have been forced to spend more time with new people. I'd have a roommate to love or hate. Anything. Right now I have, "I drove there each day. I drove home each day. I picked up thirty-two credit hours. The end." I suck.

    Unfortunately I do not have the resources to go away to school or stay in the dorms at my current school. I must continue my commute. This is possibly the biggest factor in my failure to create meaningful relationships of any sort. I know people in my classes. I'm friendly to them, talk to them. Would I feel comfortable asking them to hang out some Friday night? No. It would be so much easier if I just lived there.

    I hate when I get this way.

    Oh, and Lisa's still unsure what she's doing. She wrote a movie script that she's going to e-mail to me. One of the roles was written for me, and she wants to film this summer. Maybe she'll come home and do that. I don't know. I suppose it won't be so terrible if she stays at school all summer. I've gotten used to not seeing her.

    On a weird note, our Director of Campus Ministry resigned last night. Apparently he was involved with some sort of inappropriate sexual conduct twenty years ago. I don't know all the details. The story's on The Chicago Tribune web site, but you can't read the whole thing without subscribing to the site. Cheap bastards. Give me free news, dammit. Uh, anyway, I knew this guy. He seemed like a pretty decent man. He's a Christian Brother, which is practically the same thing as being a priest. It's scandal season for them right now. Very weird.

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