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current mood: The current mood of lostintranslation at www.imood.com

shut up and smile

January 29, 2003 - 12:10 PM

    Hmm. I was looking at a career site for one of my classes, and I took this little poll. Apparently I'm in the minority as far as the most important thing about a job is concerned. I said that you should do something you are passionate about. Most people said it's about making lots of money. I really, truly like money, but I wouldn't do something just for the money.

    I'm such a weird person. I can think of a million things to tell my friends, but I have difficulty finding anything to say to my castmates. I'm very different around them. I don't say much at all while I'm at practice. The only good thing about this is that, much like Silent Bob, the few things that I actually do say are good. I'm very good at being sarcastic with a completely straight-face. It's lucky that these people (actors) can sense humor easily. For instance, last night at practice, I said, "I hope it stops snowing soon. I hate driving in it. As I was taking that big curve on my way here, I thought, 'I'm going to die.'" I said it in a very calm, almost British tone, and the girl I was speaking to started laughing like crazy. That's one of the nice things about being with actors. Generally speaking, they appreciate good delivery, and they're quick to find things funny. They're constantly laughing.

    I don't know why, but I think I actually laugh less while I'm there. I just feel very stoic. I sometimes try to snap out of it, but it keeps coming back. Yesterday one of the guys, whose names I now know, told me to smile. I absolutely hate when people say things like this. I can't just stand around smiling all the time. I don't have it in me. I was waiting for my cue to go on stage. I wasn't especially happy or sad. I didn't want to smile or cry. I was just waiting. What's the point of standing there with a smile on my face? Do people have to smile every second of the day? I know, I know. Smiling is nice or whatever.

    Oh, and I've decided that I only form infatuations through media outlets. This time it's a DJ at the school radio station. He was on Monday night as I drove home, and I was in love. He played songs by New Found Glory, Midtown, and The Vandals. He confessed his love for MTV. (Sad, but in a cute way.) He gave out his AIM name in case anyone wanted to talk. Lovelovelove. Now, you may be saying, "He doesn't sound very cool." Well, that's the point. I don't really want someone cool. I'd constantly feel inadequate. I want someone who actually admits to watching MTV... and liking it.

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