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current mood: The current mood of lostintranslation at www.imood.com

Alex, some other stuff, and Alex

February 19, 2002 - 11:47 PM

    I think my romantic courage level is going from non-existant to barely existant! Woo! As you may be aware, I've been attempting to get Alex to ask me out. (The idea of *me* asking *him* out is not an option. What if he rejects me? My ego can't take a hit like that.) Anyway, we've both been saying how we want to see the school's production of Prelude To A Kiss. It opened last weekend, but both of us want to see it this weekend. We've mentioned it a bunch of times. I think it's time for me to say, "Which day are you going? Maybe we could go together." This is a very safe non-date. I can handle this.

    Anyway, I am nervous about an audition that is taking place tomorrow night. It's for The Tavern. I haven't even read the script. I called the director earlier today and said I'd pick up the script tomorrow. Part of me is screaming, "I don't want to try out! Don't make me!" Another part of me is sipping a martini and saying, "I live for the theater!" Because I always listen to my inner-alcoholic, I've decided to give it a whirl. I'm not a stranger to the theater. It was just two months ago that I finished up Dancing At Lughnasa. Plus Bill is supposed to be the best director. I'm pretty sure he likes me. So maybe... God, I don't know. If I don't get a part, I think I'm going to work at the local video store. Unless *they* don't hire me either, in which case I'm going to cry myself to sleep for a few months.

    By the way, I never got the chance to talk to my evil priest teacher and convince him to change my offensive C+ to something more reasonable. I'll even take a B-. The C+ has really got me down. When the hell did I get like this? It's maddening. In high school, I wouldn't have cared. Now I care all of a sudden. I think it's because I got straight As last semester. One you've tasted perfection, it's hard to go back to being someone who gets a C+.

    I should quickly tell you about Claire. Her life is more interesting than mine anyway. She is currently kicked out of her parents' house. They have her car because she owes them money on it from when she was in rehab. She has a brilliant plan to get it back--well, this is Plan #2 because I told her that yes, I think they would notice if she stole it. In this plan, she takes five or six hundred dollars out on her credit card to give to them. I asked her how she's going to pay the credit card back, seeing as though she doesn't have a job. She's also living with a 45-year old man she met on the psychiatric floor.

    "What's not too degrading and pays a lot of money?"

    "Is it something legal?"

    "Good question. Yes."

    "Um... I have no idea."

    "Stripping."

    Claire then went on to tell me about how strippers at this club get $500 a night. They keep their bras and underwear on, hence the not-too-degrading angle. The funny thing is that they asked her to wear a garter belt, and neither of us know exactly what that is. It seems rather ridiculous that we don't know. Garters are those things around your thigh. What do they mean by belt? What's sexy about that? Neither of us know, but I'm not the one going into the stripping business. By the way, I should mention that Claire is not someone I can picture stripping. She's always struggled with her weight. Apparently this club hires stick figures. I don't know what she's thinking...

    Ooh! Alex just signed on and IMed me. Lovehimlovehimlovehimlovehim. I told him I'm listening to Saves The Day's "At Your Funeral." He said, "Ah yes. Rock on." Hee. I am so easily amused by him. Seriously. Alllleeeeexxxx. God, I'm pathetic. I swear to God that I would ask him out if I thought he'd say yes. I just don't think he would. He'd tell me how he has to work on himself before he can be with anyone. Or how I'm not his type. Or how he doesn't want to form any attachments when he's probably going to transfer schools next year... He'll say no. I'm 80% certain of it.

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