[ newest ]
[ older ]
[ about me ]
[ who's who ]
[ guest book ]
[ e-mail me ]
[ notes ]
[ quiz results ]
[diaryrings ]
[ alternaprep ]
[ movie journal ]
[ my livejournal ]
[ host ]

current mood: The current mood of lostintranslation at www.imood.com

(Un)Happy Birthday

June 13th, 2001 -

    I am eighteen years old today. I can fight in a war. I can vote for our elected officials. I can order things off the TV. Even so, I'd never last one day in the army. I have to wait three years for the presidential election. Everyone knows that most products that you buy on TV are junk. Maybe eighteen isn't as glorious as it sounds.

    I woke up late today. I took off work and slept in. I cleaned my house up a bit and started inviting people over. I wanted them to come around six. I got a lot of answering machines. I also realized what an introverted individual I am. I don't have that many people that I'd feel comfortable calling up to come to my house. I'm sure this has a lot to do with the awkwardness I feel when mixing family life with my social life, but I digress.

    It ended up that only three of my friends were available: Lisa, Claire, and Tess. Ophelia was going to come, but called at the last minute with an unexplained cancellation. Leigh was working. (It's her first night working at Baker's Square.) There were a lot of people that I never got to talk to. Mildy upsetting. Lisa bought me Chasing Amy and Dogma, so I now own all four Kevin Smith films. (Thank you, Lisa.)

    I still feel like a child, which pisses me off. I think it's my complete inability to be a reckless teenager. It's not that I want to get drunk and pass out in someone's front lawn. It's just the feeling of inexperience. I'm not experienced in almost anything. Drinking, sex... a complete and utter lack of experience. My friends talk about their adventures in both areas. They're not adventures that I envy. In fact, they would only make me depressed. I know this to be true. I also know that by protecting myself I am depriving myself of experience.

    I'm not very happy right now. It's no one's fault and there's no real antaganist. Maybe it's the fact that it's my birthday. Maybe it's the thought that I don't have enough good friends. Maybe the fact that I'm eighteen and pathetically inexperienced in life. I don't know. I really couldn't tell you what I want. I don't know. All I know is that I want something to change.

    0 people have commented

Thank you for stopping by my journal.