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current mood:
breakdown
May 23rd, 2001 - 10:50 PM
emotionally distraught. so much so that refuse to use capital letters. feel hated and resented by family members that co-habit house with. hate the future of summer. took horrifying office job when put on the spot by irritating boss. will probably also take statistics course at night to get the dreadful class out of the way. bad job + statistics course = wretched summer.
what's worse is that the rest of my life doesn't look much better. another say, eight years of college, followed by messy job of being hired as psychologist. will undoubtably be dissapointed. will find much more paper work than expected, as well as typical office bs. will also be single and miserable.
you can change the future. that's what people keep saying. you're in control. you have the world right in front of you. like hell i do. i have nothing really. i'm never going to be happy. i'm not happy. happiness isn't anything i'm capable of anymore.
Life - July 12, 2004 Plan Backfires - May 06, 2004 The Past Returns - March 11, 2004 More Trickery and Disappointment - February 04, 2004 Wednesday morning - January 21, 2004