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current mood: The current mood of lostintranslation at www.imood.com

Cousin Jenni

January 11, 2002 - 11:17 PM

    Tonight was strange. I got home from the salon (my hair is currently *very* curly) and my sister told me Josie had called. She had sounded urgent. I called her back and she told me that she had had one of her seizures and she didn't have anyone else to call. She couldn't get in touch with her aunt. She was quite shaken up, so I decided to go over there. When I arrived, her family had come home. I wanted to turn around and walk right out the door. I felt like I was intruding on a family situation. They were all in the living room, asking her why she hadn't been taking her medication, inspecting the damage, etc. I sat there and watched, fighting off the urge to run fleeing into the night. When one of her aunts stood to leave, I took this as a chance to escape. No such luck. Josie's cousin, Jenni, insisted I stay. She led us downstairs to her room, which would be where I spent my entire Friday night...

    Jenni is an interesting person. She's the kind of girl that makes me very uncomfortable. For one thing, she truly believes she is black. She uses lots of phrases that I could never say with any trace of sincerity. In reality, she is tall, stick thin, and utterly white. As soon as we got to her room, she pulled out a calendar of men who weren't wearing shirts. The three of us huddled on her bed to stare at the shirtless men like thirteen year-olds at a slumber party. They would decided which ones were cute and which were ugly, then Jenni would ask my opinion. To tell you the truth, all of the men in the calendar were good looking on a real person scale. Most guys I know don't look like that. Jenni is pickier, I guess. She liked March, her birthday month, because the man was black. "I *love* black men!" She kept offering me Thin Mints. After declining several times, I finally took a cookie to appease her. She took this as an "Aha! I knew you wanted one!" moment. Right. Now, at this point, I was looking for a way out. Instead, all I got was...

    "Let's watch a movie!" Oh dear Lord. A movie equalled two more hours. I was desperately hoping that the Universe would smile upon me and offer me a way out. Then, hurrah, I got my chance. Josie's aunt was making chop sui for dinner. "Is there meat in it?" I asked innocently. There was: beef. "I don't eat red meat," I said in an apologetic voice. "Oh, you can pick it out," Jenni offered. For some reason, this girl was desperate for me to stay. The subject was dropped. Jenni began rattling off stories about her friends to Josie. I sat passively by, constructing a story that would allow me to leave. All of a sudden, there was an inquisition.

    "You're shy," Jenni announced, staring in my general direction, "I don't like it when people are shy. Shy people are sneaky." I sat there, mildly offended, but more surprised by her honesty. Josie quickly said, "You're not shy and *you're* pretty sneaky." I began thinking about people's perceptions of shy people. Often outsiders see shy people as a.) bitches who think they're too good for everyone, b.) smart people, c.) very sweet, delicate people, or d.) they don't notice them at all. I was about to tell them my theory, but Jenni announced that she was "just playing." All I said was "okay." She dumped out the Thin Mints. There were three left. Jenni and Josie each grabbed one. "You have to take the last one," Jenni told me, "It's a friendship cookie." So I ate her damn cookie. "Do you think you're different than me?" Jenni wanted to know. "I don't know," I said very carefully. My brain was screamimg, "Yes! Of course you're different!" Jenni seemed satisfied by that.

    Josie kept saying that she had a headache and wanted to take a nap. I agreed thoroughly. Jenni, on the other hand, was hellbent on ruining my Friday night. She insisted that Josie eat the chop sui, which she brought down on a tray, along with three glasses of Hawaiian Punch. I sipped the punch, hoping to drink it quickly and leave. Jenni turned on a DVD: Planet of the Apes. I resigned myself to staying. I mean, I really should try to be a better friend. I'm pretty lousy. Jenni left shortly after it started. Josie told me to take her spot on the bed. Ten minutes later, Josie was asleep and snoring. I felt really, really weird. I was lying on a stranger's bed next to a girl who I've only seen twice in eight years watching Mark Wahlberg fight apes. Then Jenni came back and saw that Josie was asleep. She wanted me to stay anyway. Surprise. Surprise. Looking around Jenni's room, I noticed that we use the same deodorant. I wanted to say, "Maybe we are the same after all." I didn't.

    I began spacing out, vaguely watching the movie. Jenni was talking to one of her "dawgs" on the phone. Then she turned to me and called "Hey! You like white boys, right?" In my dazed state, I just said "Yeah." She was excited. Her friend was bringing two white boys over. She woke Josie up to tell her. Apparently these guys were bringing weed. "Do you smoke weed?" Jenni asked me. "No." She was perplexed. "Have you ever wanted to smoke weed?" I only hesitated for half a second. "No." She was disappointed. "If you haven't noticed, I'm pretty much your typical 'good girl'," I confessed. She nodded. "Ain't nuthin' wrong wit dat," she assured me.

    The movie was finally ending when the phone rang again. Ths time it was Josie's estranged father in Michigan. They began fighting. Loudly. From Josie's end, I could tell that he was asking her to come home. He said he missed her and loved her. Josie wasn't buying it. She kept telling him that he'd put her through too much. "Quit acting like we used to be close and we've fallen apart. We were never close!" This made me sad. On the day she moved to Michigan, back when I was ten years old, I came home on the school bus like always. Her dad was waiting for me at my house. He drove me to McDonald's, where he bought Happy Meals for Josie and me. We took them back to her house and ate our food in her empty bedroom. I remember it well. It was the last time I would see Josie for over eight years. It was strange to hear her screaming at her dad tonight, telling him that they were never close. They were.

    The fighting became too much for me. I felt like I should leave. No one was going to come out and ask me to leave, so I took it upon myself. I didn't want to listen in on Josie's semi-private phone call. Jenni seemed the most distraught over my departure. She tempted me with the white boys once more, but I had to go. She followed me out to my car, where she commented on my convertible. "Bet you be pimpin' it in the summer," she said. "Yeah," I said, smiling at her. Then I got in my pimpmobile and drove off.

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