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current mood: The current mood of lostintranslation at www.imood.com

Closure on Irritating Crush

May 03, 2002 - 12:47 PM

    Well, it's official. My days of pining for Alex are absolutely 100% over. El fin.

    Why? Well, I had a long conversation with him this morning. He seems uplifted. He's been seeing more of his old friends, and he's interested in a girl he met. They went to a movie yesterday. She called him, but he's still unsure if she wants to be more than friends. I told him to go for it because it sounds like she's interested. It was just the two of them at the movies; she probably likes him. So there you have it. When you start telling the guy you like to go out with other girls, it's a big sign that you're over him. Because I actually meant it. He's not interested in me, and I've lost much of my interest in him. Might as well help him find someone. He might return the favor.

    With this development, I've decided not to actively pursue any continuation of our friendship over the summer. He did motivate me to be a little more optimistic though. I'm already concerned that this summer is going to be boring. Perhaps a change in attitude would help. His attitude sure seems to have changed. "Have you really tried?" he asked, of my lame social life. I had to really think about this. Have I? Sort of. Not really... Sometimes? So now I'm seeing Alex as a reformed pessimist, even though his low-moderate self esteem and pessimism are some of the qualities that endeared him to me. It's *nice* to have slightly insecure people around to bond with.

    Maybe I should try harder. There are people in my classes who like me as a person, even if they don't entirely understand me. For instance, today my college writing teacher commented how we're such a chatty group. "Maybe next year you'll get a whole group of Brigids and Andrews," one girl said. (Andrew is very quiet.) This comment was immediately the subject of debate as other people came to my defense. "Brigid has her moments," one girl astutely said. I think she's right.

    I have my moments.

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