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current mood: The current mood of lostintranslation at www.imood.com

God hates me.

January 9th, 2001 - 11:53 PM

    Today sucked a lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. To start out the day, my mom freaked out and had one of her classic Evil!Mom moments. She began spazzing that the house isn't clean and she just can't take it. (Have I ever told you that my family has a history of mental illness? We do.) Basically, she grounded my sister and myself from leaving the house this weekend in order to get the house back together. ::glares:: I had plans! Good plans. On Friday I wanted to see Antitrust for the fabulous Ryan Phillippe. On Saturday we were all going to go back to Chicago and see House Of Mirth again. I was really looking forward to it. Finals week would have just ended and it would've been great. I just want to move away. If only I had a lot of money!

    Anyway, the day only got worse. I hadn't seen my friend Claire in weeks. She FINALLY showed up to school today. Lisa was so excited. I wasn't excited exactly, but I was glad to see her again. In sociology class, Claire came in teary-eyed. The school had decided to kick her out after the mid-terms. They're a private school, so they can do that. I can't say that I was surprised. Claire's self-described "shock" was what surprised me. Didn't she realize that this was a natural step for the school to take? Apparently not. Anyway, I decided to help her study for the mid-terms, so that she'd at least get some credit in a few classes. That's where I spent most of the evening. I need to go study some more as well. ::sighs::

    Also, I ended up fighting with my mom when I got home. I just want out. Out of the house. Out of my life. I always feel like my mom is mocking me and my depression. For a psychiatric nurse, she sure doesn't have much empathy. I have never been told by a medical professional that I'm depressed, but it could happen soon. Last spring I had to see a psychiatrist; I got better and that was the end. I only had two meetings with the woman. The first was a getting to know me session where she gave me some medicine. The second was me telling her how much better I felt on the medication. Happy ending. Of course, my mom won't frefill the damn prescription and she wonders why I'm depressed. Not to sound dependent on drugs or anything, but put two and two together here! She wants me to have another chat with the doctor and maybe we'll all figure out what I've known for years; I'm depressed.

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