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current mood: The current mood of lostintranslation at www.imood.com

The Year In Review

January 3rd, 2001 - 5:24 PM

    On my message board, I listed everything I did in each month of the year 2000 that was important to me. I realize that this *has* been a pretty good year and that I'm pretty much satisfied. For once, I was able to concentrate on the good and not focus on the bad. 2000 certainly had it's fair share of badness: death, loss of friendships, and medication... Right here and right now, I feel okay. I feel good about my friends and myself.

    Today was the first day back to school after Christmas break. When I saw Ophelia this morning, I thought that maybe she was mad at me for Monday. (I don't feel like going into detail, but I figured that she and Leigh would be mad at Lisa and me.) In Journalism class, I just kinda acted normally to Ophelia and she responded well to it. She's not the kind of girl who wants to be angry. Later on, I talked with Leigh and things were totally fine, which made me feel happy. I think Sonia's still mad at me from last month, but I'm not concerned. I don't exactly consider Sonia a best friend.

    I can't wait until Saturday. Some on-line friends and I are going to go see House Of Mirth. I can't wait because I'm sure it's excellent and Oscar-worthy and I want to see Gillian's Oscar-nominated performance. (Well, technically she doesn't have the nomination YET.) Also, I'll get to meet some people that I've never met. In the grand tradition of this journal, I will change their names. I'll call one "June." ::waves to "June" in case she's reading:: I can't wait to meet June because she seems so lively and hyper. It's a funny thing too because lately we've been getting into these great conversations about life and friendship and what it means to be truly "living". Personally, I'm feeling closer and closer to my IRL friends and further and further from on-line friends. I think it really should be this way to fully experience life. June seems quite content with her on-line relationships. She has so much to give to the world though and I keep wanting to make her aware of how much there is outside the computer. Maybe I'm wrong to push my ideas upon her, but it seems important.

    Meanwhile, I think I should keep more opinions to myself. Like, remember Moron? Just today she annoyed me again and I couldn't hide it to Lisa afterwards. I wish I could be more like Ophelia and just be NICE. I realized this also while talking to June. I kept saying things about a friend of hers. I'd throw out adjectives like cold, icy, unloving... And that's wrong of me! I have to stop offending people's friends. My problem is that I think all these things in my head and somewhere through the years have decided to just say them.

    Happy. Happy. Happy. I was going to be happy. I still am. I'm just a thinker and an analyzer. I can't help it. I need to dwelve into these things while they're on my mind.

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