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current mood: The current mood of lostintranslation at www.imood.com

Inner Poise

May 10th, 2001 - 10:33 AM

    Am at school. Feel vulnerable to other computer lab goers. Also, have stopped using personal pronouns as result of reading Bridget Jones's Diary. Have strange affection for book and film, possibly based on similarities of name and diary-keeping.

    Anyway, the past two days were dreadful. My sister erased the hard drive on our computer. My friends drove me to the brink of insanity. My mom makes me want to move to L.A. and never return. She's a full blown psychopath, I swear.

    My friends... well, I think I've been all wrong. On Tuesday I decided to stop talking to Tess and Ani. Tess became very concerned and kept asking me what was wrong. It's just that their conversations are terrible. They're the kind of things people say to one another when they have just met or met just days ago. I can't believe that I've known Tess for thirteen years and we have nothing to say to each other that we couldn't say to stangers. That struck me as terribly sad. I think I overreacted though. It's not fair to stop talking to someone and not tell them why. She wouldn't have understood if I explained it. I'm not sure I'd want her to understand anyway.

    Today is different. Taking a lesson from Bridget Jones, I am developing Inner Poise. Changing mantra from The Universe Hates Me to Inner Poise. I am brilliant. Funny. Delightful to know. Also, I'm trying to give my inner monologue a British accent, which is not working out. It'd probably end up giving me dissociative identity disorder anyway or at least Madonna Syndrome.

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