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current mood: The current mood of lostintranslation at www.imood.com

Kill me. Please. Just kill me.

March 06, 2002 - 9:43 PM

    I've been considering my cynicism all day. It's really wavering. God, it makes me sick just thinking about it. I want my cynicism back. Why, God, why? It was such a comfort...

    This is Dennis Miller's fault. I watched his show last night because Jon Stewart was on it. Dennis was just so caustic, and I found myself really hating him. The subject was religion, and I realized that I'm really relenting on my distaste for religious affiliations! Also, you know how everyone quickly grew tired of patriotism? I thought it was nice. (This was a huge warning sign of the impending death of my cynicism.) Also, I'm sickeningly moral. It's horrible. HORRIBLE. I blame my mother and all her "values."

    The kicker is that I'm still unhappy.

    ...and I just got interrupted by W., who called about babysitting "after school" tomorrow. I, being filled with self-hatred, informed her that I'm on break. Now I'll have to go over there at noon. This is the worst Spring Break that anyone has ever had ever. Grrrrrrr. Why? Why? Why? I suppose I bring it upon myself to some extent. God, I hate me. Why couldn't I have simply told her that I had school tomorrow until... nine o'clock at night. Yeah. Night school, as well as day school. (Another moment passes.) W. just called back. Now I don't have to be there until 2:15. I didn't hide my lack of enthusiasm, but she never cares as long as she gets what she wants. I want to die.

    This has seriously been a horrible Spring Break. I sleep, occasionally eat, clean, and watch Passions. That's it. Oh, and now I get to babysit, even though I'm in college and really too old to be bothered with babysitting. To top it all off, I've lost my cynicism! It's gone. I'm all moral and good and PC. I hate what I've become. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go cry my eyes out and watch The Daily Show.

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