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current mood: The current mood of lostintranslation at www.imood.com

advice from a non-expert

April 22, 2002 - 10:17 AM

    You know, I�m thinking it over, and maybe I�m not qualified to give out relationship advice. This didn�t stop me on Friday night. Sonia was eager to hear my opinions on her Psycho boyfriend. I tried to be tactful, but honest. All she really wanted to know was whether I thought he seemed interested in her. I told her that wasn�t the issue. His psychotic behavior was a bit more unsettling than any lack of intimacy. Single-minded to the end, she asked, �Do you think this could be a long-term relationship?�

    �No,� I immediately blurted out.

    �Why not?� She seemed a bit hurt and surprised.

    Then I tried to explain that violent people with police records are not ideal love interests. I told her that she has a very romanticized vision of violence; she had to agree with that assessment. I advised that she lose her na�ve outlook on the subject and take a look at reality. He has already told her that once he gets aroused, he can�t control his actions. I told her he was basically pre-warning her that he�s a date rapist. After all, this is the guy who beat up two people with a crow bar because they were standing by his car in a suspicious manner. I don�t mean to overreact to a standard line that guys use to get laid, but, in this case, anything is possible.

    Three days later, I realize that I�m not in any position to give out dating advice. I�m the worst romantic failure on the planet. I like to think that I still have a good deal of common sense and objectivity that allows me to give out advice despite my own shortcomings. If not, I�m going to make a bad psychologist.

    As for the pool of self-pity that I was drowning in on Saturday night, I have now swum to the other side. I�m not in the shallow end, the deep end, or the pitiful part. I guess I�m in the middle. I still feel bad for myself in some respects. I�m going to be nineteen in June, and my love life is completely unacceptable for someone my age. It�s absolutely pathetic that I have never had a relationship. Sometimes I suddenly remember this fact and fly off the handle about it. I am much happier when living in blissful ignorance, and I will try to maintain this state as much as possible.

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