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current mood: The current mood of lostintranslation at www.imood.com

All Mixed Up

November 4th, 2000 - 10:47 PM

    I feel loopy. All day I've been having terrible mood swings. It's not a certain monthly problem either. I guess I'm just strange. I've been angry, sad, frustrated, and ecstatically happy all within the past few hours. Right now I'm happy because I bid for some stuff on eBay. I've never won a single thing on eBay. Maybe I'll be luckier this time! I'm very contented by money and material things. ::sighs:: I don't want to be that way! Things aren't supposed to make you happy. They do though. They really make me happy.

    Tomorrow there's a six hour play rehearsal. I feel ready. All my lines are memorized. It's going to be okay. I'm trying to tell myself that it's going to be fine. I read in a Gillian Anderson biography (stop laughing!) that when Gillian started doing The X-Files that she felt like she wasn't doing any good- that she was waiting for them to figure out that they'd made a terrible mistake in casting her. That's how I feel. I recall feeling the same way last year, but this year is even worse. The director, Ms. D., never seems to like what I do. Also, I don't have as much support from cast members. It's a tiny cast. There's only four major players, including me. I feel like this total screw-up klutz.

    I talked to Lisa on the phone about an hour ago. She's working on her college applications. She had to write a story about something that happened to her for one essay. She wrote about the time that her, Claire, and I all walked down this busy street late at night searching for a pay phone. It was three years ago and we still laugh about how far we walked and how stupid we all were. We really were pretty dumb. ::laughs:: Lisa's essay did a great job of explaining it and making it sound funny. She did a good job of making me the responsible and logical character with Claire as the fun and trouble-making character.

    I feel pretty good and happy right now. I should probably be doing something more constructive, but oh well. Tomorrow night is The X-Files premiere! I'm not THAT excited, but it's still exciting! I love that show so much. Stupid evil greedy David Duchovny has decided to kill it though. It's not going to be the same without him.

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