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pre-Warped Tour June 29, 2003 - 9:48 AM I have about one hour to become undepressed. I woke up not too long ago with a deep sense of dread. Today is going to be awful. I can hear my mother's voice saying, "That's self-fulfilling prophecy. You're going to make it awful by thinking that it will be." I don't care. I'm imagining it now, and it isn't pretty. I'm on the brink of faking a major illness. I'm going to be uncomfortable and angry at the Warped Tour. That's what's going to happen. Maybe if I pretend to put on a happy face? Maybe if I get excited about the music, which is certainly something to get excited about, I'll be okay. Unfortunately, I'm too nervous to get excited. As soon as I get my hopes up of seeing a certain band (The Ataris!), I realize that I probably won't get to seem them at all. Bands play at the same time, and I'll be at the mercy of the stupid group. This is why I didn't want a group. I'm already fantasizing about ditching them. That will be sad because I'll be on my own, but at least I can see the bands I like. Gah. Why do I ever put myself in these positions? Can't I see ahead of time that I'm making lame choices with annoying consequences? I want to SCREAM. Life - July 12, 2004 Plan Backfires - May 06, 2004 The Past Returns - March 11, 2004 More Trickery and Disappointment - February 04, 2004 Wednesday morning - January 21, 2004 |
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