[ newest ]
[ older ]
[ about me ]
[ who's who ]
[ guest book ]
[ e-mail me ]
[ notes ]
[ quiz results ]
[diaryrings ]
[ alternaprep ]
[ movie journal ]
[ my livejournal ]
[ host ]

current mood: The current mood of lostintranslation at www.imood.com

Before Kairos Retreat

December 12th, 2000 - 12:33 PM

    My stomach is churning. I feel faint. I leave for Kairos today. Coincidence? I think not. Ooh. I just got chills too. I'm chilled now! Chilled! ::sighs:: Lisa keeps telling me that I'll have fun. Just be positive. Have fun. Be positive. Have fun. I can't take it. I'll be without all the things I love for four days. I think my legs just went limp. I'm coming down with the flu. For the love of Bob! This sucks.

    Meanwhile, I'll fill you in on the past few days. On Saturday, I went to a cool concert at the United Center. It wasn't exactly all that fun or entertaining though. Incubus was good. Incubus rules. I think Lisa was sick of me by the end because I was so nervous about all the homework and projects that I'd procrastinated on. It's ironic because three days later I'm sitting here still not done. I've had two days of Snow Days and I'm leaving for Kairos this afternoon, so I was worrying in vain. I ruined my $45 concert for nothing at all.

    That reminds me! I don't know why it does, but it just does. Somthing mysterious and wonderful has happened to me. On Thursday I was very spiritually lost. I was having faith problems or at least religion problems because I don't believe in transubstantiation. (I don't believe that the communion at Mass has been physically transformed into the actual flesh and blood of Christ. I believe it's symbolic.) Anyway, that would technically make me a protestant and not a catholic. Plus I'm not 100% sure that I even believe in God. Also, all my friends were mad at me. Life was at a small low point. Then something happened that seemed like a sign. As it turns out, I have a rich third cousin. (Yes, THIRD cousin.) He offered to pay my college tuition. The whole thing. Plus both my sisters and all my cousns. He wants to pay for all of our Catholic grade schools, high schools, and colleges.

    Do you know what that means for me? It means that I can apply to any Catholic college I want and never worry about money. Isn't that a sign? That has to be a sign. Anyway, I'm applying to a fairly local school that has an excellent drama department. I'm not going to be a theatre major. I love psychology and want to major in that. The thing is that I've always felt that I was meant to do something big. Maybe I'll go to this school and fall in love with theatre and find out that I'm actually good a it and live happily ever after. I know it's a stretch, but I've considered it.

    Anyway, I'm going to leave for Kairos in a few hours. I've explained this before. It's four days with girls in my class and we're all going to bond and share sob stories and confess everything bad we've ever thought about one another. I suppose I'm partially afraid that my shyness will conquer all and I'll sit there unhappily. Part of me is also sickened by the sugary-sweet manufactured product that IS Kairos. Why don't we just rent The Breakfast Club? It would save a lot of time. When I come back, I will certainly have things to tell you. I just wonder about Ophelia. I'm curious about her story. She must have a story that I don't know. She simply must. I never suspected it until this whole Kairos thing. I hope I discover what it is. Pleae God just let me survive. And not cry. I don't want to cry. I won't cry. I won't cry. I won't cry. I won't cry. I'm totally going to cry. Almsot everyone cries. I've been known to cry during episodes of Ally McBeal. I'm toast.

    0 people have commented

Thank you for stopping by my journal.