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current mood: The current mood of lostintranslation at www.imood.com

Sad

July 10, 2003 - 11:58 PM

    It was no mistake. My favorite teacher died in a car crash Tuesday night. He was coming home from a night class at my college, and he tried to switch lanes. The driver in the other car was also killed.

    For the past twenty-four hours, I have been in a state of limbo. I was a mess on Wednesday. I got to work, opened the newspaper, and read all the details of his death. It said they were doing an autopsy that day. I just couldn't stand it. I sobbed. I asked to leave early, which I did. I just couldn't stop crying.

    That night my mom said something that resonated with me. "This is going to sound cruel and inhuman," she said carefully. (Always a great way to start a sentence.) "Sometimes you have to keep your emotions in until it's appropriate." It made me regret crying at the store. Today I went in with a different attitude. I put it out of my head. I said, "I'm fine" to everyone who asked. I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean with Tess, and I joked around as if the world hadn't changed. I know that tomorrow I will have to face it again. I will go to the wake, and I will cry all over again for my thirty-nine year old teacher who died too soon. He had his wife and daughter. He had a great love and talent for music, and he was one of the few teachers who was universally well-liked by his high school students. He was the best, and now he's gone.

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