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current mood: The current mood of lostintranslation at www.imood.com

I'm going to be sick.

July 08, 2003 - 10:37 PM

    I'm dizzy and nauseated. I think my favorite high school teacher is dead. Tess called to tell me. Then Lisa called and said there was a car crash. Now I'm talking to Ophelia on-line, and she hadn't heard anything. God, I'm freaking out. How can he be dead? How? How? How? He can't be dead. There has to be some mistake.

    He was my favorite teacher my senior year of high school, as well as the only crush I ever had on a teacher. He was--is--in his mid-thirties, married, with a six-year old daughter. He plays guitar and writes his own songs. When he put his first CD out, he asked me to review it. I did, and I was so happy when he liked my review. He can't be dead.

    I want to pass out. It was only a few weeks ago that my art teacher died. She was also my friend Michelle's mother. I went to the wake, and I found myself crying really hard. If you had asked me what I thought of her the day before she died, I probably wouldn't have said anything too wonderful. It was only when she was gone that I remembered all the good things about her. She always supported me at school plays. She gave me Bs on my art projects, even though they were terrible. She threw a surprise birthday party for her daughter Michelle. "She really thought you were going to make it," Michelle told me after the funeral. The funeral mass was much less crowded than the wake, and I got to speak with Michelle alone. It was miserable. Her mother was fifty-eight and died of a heart attack. Her father seemed completely wrecked.

    God, I feel sick.

    I was having a nice night too. I took my youngest sister to see X-Men 2 at the discount theater. Ever since I saw it with Tess a few months ago, I've been in lust with Hugh Jackman. After the movie I took her to Dairy Queen for ice cream. I came home and got the message that Khara and Tess had called me. I called Tess back and heard the awful news. This is so so so bad.

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