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current mood: The current mood of lostintranslation at www.imood.com

Sleepy time.

November 04, 2003 - 11:56 PM

    I should do some homework, but I'd rather write a journal entry while watching Conan O'Brien. I need to finish A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, which is an evil book. James Joyce wrote it just to torture me and people like me because he was a bad, bad man.

    I can just picture James Joyce fans reading this and freaking out, so here's a disclaimer for you: I'm prone to exaggeration. I confessed some of these things to Cathleen yesterday. I don't like people who took French in high school. I dislike people who ride horses on a regular basis. I think home schooled kids are lame. Cathleen just thought it was funny and said that it was true about the home schooled kids. She used to date one. Of course, there are exceptions. Cynthia rides horses, and she even competes on a national level. I am bored out of my mind every time she talks about it, but I don't dislike her at all.

    Tonight, after rehearsal, Cynthia, Cathleen, Sandy, and I went to Steak N Shake. It was pretty fun. My relationship with theater people is very different than my relationships with high school friends. With people like Tess or Ophelia, I'm talkative and open about 98% of the time. With theater friends, it's about 45%. Tonight was good; I made them laugh several times. I figure you can always judge success based on how many times people laugh when they're with you.

    Cathleen's Halloween party was all right. She went as Anna Nicole Smith and was quite good at it. I felt very quiet all night, spending most of my time talking to Sandy. It's odd with Sandy. I always feel like she must secretly dislike me, even though she's never said so. Every now and then she will seem genuinely amused by me, turning to someone and saying, "I love her." I still have this nagging feeling that she doesn't like me or at least she used to dislike me. I try not to think about it too much because there isn't anything more annoying than whiny little girls saying, "Are you mad at me?" or "Does so and so like me?" Gah. I don't want to be that girl.

    Speaking of which, there was some minor drama with Buffy recently. A couple weeks ago, Claire and I were supposed to see a 10:00 showing of Scary Movie 3. Buffy called, and I told her what we were doing, so she said she'd meet us there. On my way to the theatre, I got a call from her.

    "The movie's sold out, and I'm really hungry. Some of my friends are here, so we're going out to dinner. I'm hungry. I'm whiny. Okay?"

    Sure. Fine. Whatever. Claire and I saw Kill Bill instead: no big deal. When I got there, I told her that Buffy was pretty much being a bitch and ditching us. That was that--until a few days ago.

    I checked my voicemail, and Buffy had left three messages begging me to call her. I called and she started apologizing like crazy. I said, "It's okay."

    "I'm so sorry," she repeated. "I feel like I was such a bitch."

    "It's okay. You're okay," I said in the same tone I would use to comfort a six year old who spilled her juice.

    She proceeded to tell me about her new boyfriend, and I acted happy about it. It wasn't like I was secretly unhappy. I felt neutral because... why wouldn't I be? I made a big deal of being happy for her though. Then I hung up and went to Sandy's surprise birthday party. I felt oddly shy at the party, and my personality seemed to fade in and out.

    Meanwhile, my job still sucks. I hate Vicki. I really do.

    In other news, Claire is in Europe. She called me today while I was at work to say goodbye before she left. I had no idea she was going. It was like, "Bye! I'm going to Europe!"

    And I was like, "Huh? Did you say Europe?" She'd never mentioned it before, but I guess that's Claire for you.

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