[ newest ]
[ older ]
[ about me ]
[ who's who ]
[ guest book ]
[ e-mail me ]
[ notes ]
[ quiz results ]
[diaryrings ]
[ alternaprep ]
[ movie journal ]
[ my livejournal ]
[ host ]

current mood: The current mood of lostintranslation at www.imood.com

This is why I don't date.

April 19, 2002 - 12:26 PM

    Well, I went to the jazz concert at school last night. It wasn�t anything exciting. Afterwards, I went to the school�s Coffee House. It�s not a permanent institution. Every month they set up tables and chairs in the chapel where people play acoustic guitars and read poetry. (And drink coffee.) Sonia came with me, as did her new boyfriend and his friend. She was not kidding; her boyfriend is insane. One of the first things he did was set fire to a Tootsie Roll wrapper with one of the candles on the table.

    Throughout all this, Sonia despaired because he wasn�t paying enough attention to her. She kept whispering things like, �Do you think he wants to break up with me?� and �Are you noticing this? Do you see this? He�s ignoring me, isn�t he?� I tried to assure her that he was simply trying to balance his time between her and his friend Andy. She felt seriously threatened by her boyfriend�s same-sex best friend. Whatever. Psycho and Andy kept sneaking outside to smoke cigarettes and avoid the numerous Christian rock songs being forced upon us. This made Sonia even more suspicious that their relationship was over. I was getting a little irritated with her drama.

    An hour later, while Psycho and Andy were on yet another smoke break, Sonia left the Coffee House (and me). Actually, it wasn�t her idea. Our high school acquaintance, who I will call Mr. Hero, accompanied us. Mr. Hero was busy flirting with Sonia�s friend all night, but suddenly took it upon himself to save the day. He stood and declared that they were leaving. Sonia blindly followed, emotionally distraught. Sonia�s friend seemed impressed by Mr. Hero�s strength and compassion. I sat there with wonder as to how I came to be friends with people like this.

    Not ten minutes later, Psycho and Andy returned. I felt torn between helpfulness and confidentiality. As always, I chose helpfulness. I told Psycho that Sonia felt like he wasn�t paying enough attention to her.

    �What am I supposed to do in a coffee house?� he asked.

    �I don�t know. Do her right here on the table?� I replied. He smirked.

    So we watched this weird kid sing weird songs while Sonia, Mr. Hero, and Sonia�s friend did God knows what. Then Psycho and Andy decided to go smoke again. The announcer called the next act: Mr. Hero. Fortunately, Mr. Hero was absent, so we were all spared his rendition of Staind�s �It�s Been Awhile.� He was the last act, so I exited the chapel alone. I immediately ran into my friends. Mr. Hero was pretty heartbroken that he missed his chance at glory. Psycho was eager to find a Denny�s and get something to eat. Mr. Hero and Sonia�s friend didn�t want anything. I didn�t particularly want to go anywhere either, and I assumed that Sonia would not want to spend anymore time with Psycho. She surprised me by saying that she did and begging me to come with. �I owe you my life,� she said when I consented. Dear Bob.

    Instead of Denny�s, we went to Steak N Shake. The waiter had only worked there two days, and I swear that it took him half an hour just to take our order. The restaurant was practically empty. It was then that Psycho told me his story of deviant behaviors and psychiatric evaluations. �This one time we beat this guy up, and then we put him in the trunk. We turned the speakers all the way up. We could hear him making sounds back there. It was so funny. That guy couldn�t hear for like a month.� He also claims to be a sort of Good Will Hunting-style genius. He said he got a 26 on his ACT without even filling out the English section. He took it again and got a 30, even though he had a hangover. Who knows what kind of score he could get if completely lucid!

    I took this all with a grain of salt. He didn�t seem all that sharp to me. For example, he works at a place that sells Firestone tires. He explained a huge conspiracy between Ford and Firestone in great detail. When he got done, I said, �Sooo� what you�re saying is that there�s no conspiracy.� He immediately started to explain the whole thing again until Andy said, �She was just being a smart ass.� Any moron could have figured that out. I started to wonder if maybe Psycho was a pathological liar. He has been to many psychiatrists, but none of their conclusions is to his satisfaction.

    I didn�t get home until 2:15.

    0 people have commented

Thank you for stopping by my journal.