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current mood: The current mood of lostintranslation at www.imood.com

Yadda

April 05, 2002 - 12:10 AM

    I just got off the phone with Tess. She called me because she had a terrible day, and I was sort of glad that she thought to call *me* to cheer her up. This is unusual considering my deep hatred of telephones. Anyway, Tess had a bad experience with one of the many organizations she has joined at her school. (She's in the Asian Club, the African American Club, the Latino Club... and she's a white, blond girl.) Today she went to a Christian meeting. Unfortunately, they were planning to protest a gay pride parade. Tess was infuriated by this and left, which I find commendable. People have really screwed up Christianity. Jesus said *don't* judge others. He said to love everyone. Somewhere along the line, Christianity strayed from this line of thinking.

    Back to Tess, because I don't give her enough introspective diary time: She was also upset because her Annoying Sister broke up with her boyfriend. "I really thought they were going to get married," Tess told me. (She's a tad naive, considering that these kids are juniors in high school.) I was evilly overjoyed by this. I strongly dislike Annoying Sister. She wasn't very good to her irritatingly doting boyfriend. Apparently he caught on and is now chasing after a little freshman girl. I shouldn't be so pleased about Annoying Sister getting dumped, but their relationship symbolized the "nice guys love bitches" concept. Then again, I was just thinking today how I have to put effort into feeling happy for people in relationships. It isn't my natural response. There's always the pang of jealousy and the pang of suspicion. Jealousy is pretty self-explanatory. The suspicion is that there is something wrong with the person's relationship. I immediately see why it won't work or why they aren't right for each other. It's rare that I'm really happy for people in love.

    My sister got home twenty minutes ago. We were talking and she said, "You should be proud of me that I'm not a whore. Everyone in my class is." She's a sophomore. It's sort of depressing. Her friend had a pregnancy scare recently. She decided to take a lot of medications that warned "do not take if pregnant" so that she could miscarry, which is pretty idiotic. It turns out she wasn't pregnant after all. This is the same girl who, when I told her I was going to England, asked me if I needed to know French to go there. It frightens me to think of her out there getting knocked up.

    ::pauses:: My radio is playing Weezer's "Dope Nose"! I lovelovelove this song. All day I've been trying to hear it as often as possible. And now it's over. Weezer's songs are too short.

    Now, where was I? Oh yes. I was working through my deep emotional problems involving love and sex. I blame my mother about the sex thing. She has really driven the "wait till you're married" rule into my brain. I can't even explain the reasoning behind this. Why is premarital sex immoral? I don't know. It just is. I guess. Maybe. Supposedly. I'm really not too concerned about it, as I don't even have a boyfriend. I just don't want to end up a really sad, old virgin.

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