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current mood:
Who wants to be my valentine?
February 14, 2003 - 10:24 AM
Well, Valentine's Day is here again. I looked up what I was doing last year, and somehow I think that entry will be better than this one. It's not like I did anything fun or anything, but there's still some funny stuff about Josie in there that I completely forgot about. Sometimes I'll search for an old entry, and I'll find something that I can't remember writing. Occasionally I even laugh because I was having a moment of funniness. Then I'll feel like a twisted narcissist for having laughed at my own joke a year later.
Anyway, last night was the preview show for The Real Inspector Hound. I had moments of slight nervousness, especially when I was waiting for my cue to come on. I pumped myself up by lying to myself, using such phrases as "You're a great actress" and "You love being in front of an audience." This prevented me from having some sort of breakdown. I even got all my lines right, and the audience laughed a lot. It was such a relief. I only have seven more shows to do, and I'm done.
The post-preview show party was, um, interesting. Everyone involved in theater hung out in the lobby and, of course, drank. We were out of alcohol by 10:15. I had very little. I drank some bad Merlot before deciding it was too awful to finish. I then had a glass of champagne for the toast. I still felt slightly ill though. It was probably because I hadn�t eaten anything since 2:00 in the afternoon. I had the strongest impulse to just go home. Twenty minutes in, I was ready to bail. I ended up staying there for over three hours. I was determined to make an effort. All I really did was watch people get drunker and drunker. A few were falling down drunk. Some were hyper and happy. Most were singing along to Billy Joel songs. Now that I think about it, why did I stay? Oh right. I was making an effort.
People are so funny when they�re drunk. A girl who I had met an hour earlier was telling me that I should join their fratority (a fraternity and sorority in one!). She said that she would always make room for me on her couch in case I needed to sleep over. She was practically begging me to join, so I appeased her by taking a flier. It seems that a lot of my cast mates are in the fratority. They started giving me a drunken little infomercial about it. A guy who I�ve met maybe three times put his arm around me and said that I was awesome and a great actress. I thought, �How does he know if I�m awesome or not? We�ve never even conversed.� Then I remembered that he was drunk. After three hours of making an effort, I drove home. I decided not to stop for food and to go straight to bed. So that�s exactly what I did.
Wow. I�ve written four paragraphs, and I�ve hardly bitched about Valentine�s Day. I still think it�s a lame holiday aimed at making single people feel bad about themselves. I still think it�s sad that I never have a Valentine of my own. I�m also pretty apathetic, truth be told. Tomorrow is another day. Valentine�s Day will have ended. I won�t have to feel bad about myself again until Sweethearts Day.
Life - July 12, 2004 Plan Backfires - May 06, 2004 The Past Returns - March 11, 2004 More Trickery and Disappointment - February 04, 2004 Wednesday morning - January 21, 2004