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current mood: The current mood of lostintranslation at www.imood.com

Nerdapalooza

March 20, 2002 - 12:09 PM

    It's Wednesday already, and I haven't written anything all week. It's not really all that unfortunate because nothing of interest has happened. On Saturday night, I went to see Ice Age with Sonia and Tess. (Yes, it's a children's film. No, it wasn't my idea.) Sonia has recently acquired a boyfriend, who she describes as "psychotic, but cute." He happens to be friends with Drew, this kid I went to high school with who I now also go to college with. Drew is impossibly nerdy, and I feel sort of bad for him. Sonia's boyfriend being associated with him is a bad sign. Also, when I mentioned this to Lisa, she said that Drew had told her about his friend and that the friend was indeed psychotic. I can't help but wonder if Sonia is still better off than lonely, pitiful me.

    Also, St. Patrick's Day was considerably better than last year. I did not get into any arguments over morality with my family members. I did not walk away from the day hating everyone with similar genetic makeup. It was a success.

    In other news, I am seriously reconsidering my career aspirations. I planned on attending grad school and getting my Ph.D. Unfortunately, I never really considered how difficult this would be. Apparently, they don't just hand out doctrites like they hand out grade school diplomas. Do I really want to spend the next seven years of my life in school? No. The trouble is that I'm not sure what else to do. I could double major in Print Journalism, but that could seal my fate as a news writer. I hate writing news stories. I would love to be a columnist, but I doubt I'd have enough ideas each week to pull it off.

    What I'd really like to do is be the head of a movie studio so that I could prevent disastrously idiotic films from being made. If not a movie studio, I could also work at a major network. I could give the Fox network some dignity back. I could save ABC. I would cancel all the unfunny sitcoms like Three Sisters or The World According To Jim or whatever. I would also cancel all the shows that were once good, but are now sad and pathetic. (See ya later, Ally McBeal.)

    According to one of my professors, 80% of college graduates are not working in the field they majored in. What are they doing then? My mom keeps telling me that people with a Bachelor's degree in Psychology are working as secretaries and other non-prestigious occupations. I have big dreams that all involve me making a lot of money. How can I achieve them? It's all so very confusing and headache inducing.

    By the way, I barely got a C on my Psychobiology test. Only one person in the class got an A. Two people got Bs. It's very sad. The teacher is like, "Do you guys realize that this class is important?" In response, the class stared blankly. Personally, I realize that the class is important, but that didn't stop me from slacking off the night before the exam. I even watched TV shows that I don't like very much. I watched Dawson's Creek and South Park, both of which I enjoyed very much in the first half of high school. Now I'm in college, and I can't be bothered to study for a Psychobiology test because I'm too lazy and preoccupied with the misadventures of Dawson. Very, very sad.

    Oh, and I saw my shrink on Monday. It was our shortest meeting ever, and I didn't even cry. Hurrah. (Then again, I didn't really have time to get all emotionally worked up.) She decided I could have some Paxil, which is a cure-all for every mental illness in the whole world. Seriously. The list of possible side effects is pretty damn funny because any one of them would be sure to heighten your depression or social anxiety. You know, things like loss of bladder control and the death of your libido. I'm hoping to avoid such side effects, but with my luck I'll get to be one of the lucky 2%.

    Okay. This is the last paragraph. I swear. What I need is money. I really do. I have exactly one dollar in my wallet. My mom owes me thirteen dollars, and my neighbor still owes me for the construction of his web site. I totally need a job. I still haven't applied at the video store. I went in there yesterday, and the girl working there was terrifying. I know I should be kind to my fellow nerd, but at least I have the good sense to at least appear normal. I was renting The Cider House Rules, and she proceeded to give me a long speel on Tobey Maguire. It went something like so:

    "Tobey Maguire is getting a lot of publicity right now because of Spider Man. He's in tons of magazines. Like, I like this one magazine called Toy Land, and he was in that one. My friend met him once and she said she was surprised how short he is. She said that if you looked at Tobey Maguire's driver's license, you could see his feet! [polite laughter from me] There's this other character who plays Meglospidie [I don't know the exact word/spelling of whatever the hell she said]. The guy who plays him is sometimes mistaken for Tobey Maguire. There was this one time that a magazine had a background of that guy, but they thought it was Tobey Maguire. Sometimes people confuse them. Somebody once came up to the other guy and said, 'I loved you in The Cider House Rules.' [smile and nod from me] Did you see when Tobey Maguire hosted Saturday Night Live? That was classic! There was this one skit..."

    She kept going, but I'll spare you the rest. It kind of made me afraid to work there, although I suppose I could do a similar speech on Jon Stewart. I probably wouldn't give this speech to a total stranger though. Probably.

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