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current mood: The current mood of lostintranslation at www.imood.com

From Bad To Worse

August 05, 2003 - 8:35 PM

    It was my first day working for Ben. As you know, I had some apprehension about it. It turns out that I was entirely correct in my assessment of the situation. I hate this job with the passion of a thousand people walking out of the movie Gigli. I haven't worked in an office setting for two years. My brain got all fuzzy on the matter. All I really remembered were my friends Maribel and Beth, hating our boss W., and the vague notion that I never wanted to work in an office ever again. I used to call it "mind numbing," which I just remembered today. Because my mind was numb.

    W. is Ben's wife. I don't know why I would work for him after disliking her so much. I discussed this with Dee, the girl who I'm replacing. We both agreed that Ben is probably easier to work for than W. because he is a bit less high strung and psychotic. (My words, not hers.) Dee understood with perfect clarity how Ben and W. operate on a different clock than other people. When I babysit their kids, and they say they'll be back by 5:30 at the latest, I expect them at 7:00. That's just how they are. God, I should cut all ties to them.

    This is from my second day on the job for W. Technically it's from the second summer I worked for her, but that entry is still very similar to this one. I forgot that I became ill on my first day of work and left after three hours. At least this proves that I'm stronger now. I was there from nine to five. Or maybe that just makes me dumber. Maybe I was right to flee. I thought about it often today. Even as people said their goodbyes and offered little bits of advice, I was thinking, Little do they know that they will never see me ever again. I am never coming back. Ha! Muahahahahah! I truly believed that this would be my first and final day as an employee at the law firm.

    Of course, I'll show up tomorrow, even though it feels almost absurd to do so. Sitting here, in the comfort of my home, I can't imagine myself back in that office. I loathe filing. I hate having some bitch tell me what to do. I hate the token Drama Queen who insists that the new lawyer is creeping her out and that he better not come within a foot of her or she'll scream. At first I even hated Dee a little bit for being so sweet and happy about everything, which forced me to be sweet and happy too. That lasted about an hour before the facade began to crumble. Dee is the kind of girl who says, "Oh my goodness!" while I prefer "What the hell?" Dee wants to be an elementary school teacher.

    "Only really nice people want to be elementary school teachers," I informed her. "You never hear the mean, horrible people say, 'I want to work with small children.'"

    "Well, I hope not," she said earnestly.

    Personally, I'd rather work in a law firm than spend a day with small children.

    Anyway, I can't stomach this job. I can't. I'm supposed to work two more days this week. I suppose I should work them. Then again, isn't it a waste of everyone's time? Shouldn't I show up tomorrow and say, "I'm sorry. This job just isn't for me. Good luck finding someone else." That would be the right thing to do. Right? Plus, everyone's trying to train me as if I'm actually going to work on a regular basis. Can't they see that I'm already having Quitting Fantasies? On Day One? There were seriously several times when my id was pulling me to walk out of the building and not look back.

    I'm sorry for babbling for so long on a subject that could be summed up in one sentence: I hate my new job, but I probably won't really quit, and I'll whine about it for months.

    Or maybe I will quit.

    Whatever.

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